Ash Wednesday: "My Bad"

[With gratitude to Bass Mitchell for the title and some of the ideas here.]

“My bad” is an expression you hear these days. It means, “I messed up. It’s my fault. I take responsibility for that. I’ll try to do better. Please forgive me.”

Psalm 51 could be entitled, “My Bad.” Tradition attributes it to King David, at a time he had some serious confessing to do. Remember how he abused his royal power to seduce Bathsheba, the wife of one of his most loyal officers? David ordered her into his presence, forced her to go to bed with him, and got her pregnant. Then he did everything he could think of to cover it up. Eventually he again abused his power by arranging things so that her husband would be killed in battle. Nowadays, I suppose we’d call it “Bathsheba-gate.” David thought he got away with it… until Nathan, a prophet, confronted him about it. David then confessed. Tradition says that David wrote this psalm in this context. Biblical scholars aren’t sure about that but whoever wrote Psalm 51 was saying “My bad,” and he really meant it. He feels unclean, soiled, guilty, broken, even estranged from God. He can’t sleep. He’s lost his joy and he’s taking responsibility for all of it. He’s to blame. He’s confessing and seeking forgiveness. He’s crying out from the depths of his soul, “My bad, Lord! My very, very bad!

I don’t know about you, but I like it—“My bad.” I think the world could stand to hear it a whole lot more.

Someone once said, “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” That’s what a sincere “My bad” can do – not so much change what has happened as to make possible a better future. 

Yeah, it would be nice to hear more, “My bad.” We would hear it more if we said it more ourselves.

Wouldn’t it be nice to seek out a person you’ve hurt in some way and genuinely say, “My bad. I was wrong. I apologize. I want to make amends”?

Truth be told, “My bad” is something we probably should say every day for one reason or another to people we know… Certainly to God…

In a way, part of the purpose of Ash Wednesday is to remind us of the importance of saying and really meaning, “My bad.” Ash Wednesday is like a mirror held up to remind us that we are not always nice and good, that we say and do things that hurt others and ourselves, and our planet – not to mention leaving things unsaid and undone that we should have said or done. This night, this day in the church year is telling us, “Go ahead. Say it. ‘My bad.’ Mean it. Take responsibility for it. Confess to God and seek forgiveness. And not just tonight. Do it for forty days just so you will get the message!”

But Ash Wednesday can also remind us that it is not enough just to say, “My bad.” What we are called to say is not only “Yes, my bad. I am a sinner,” but also “My good. I will turn from the bad and seek the good. I will, with God’s help, change. Become more who God and others need me to be.” Saying “My bad” doesn’t mean very much at all without a sincere desire and determination to so live that we have less and less reason to say it.

I invite each of you right now to take a moment to bow your heads. Begin your own prayer or psalm or sonnet with, “Lord, my bad…” and be specific. Be honest. Then seek God’s forgiveness and help in moving from “My bad” to “My good,” to becoming more the person God wants you to be. One other thing, realize, too, that you are saying “My bad” privately to God. But God’s answer might be that you and I both need to go to someone else and say it as well.